…and no, Michael Phelps does not make the list.

Yes, he’s been everyone’s athlete of the year. Yes, he won more gold medals than France. And yes, he seems like a pretty nice guy, despite that terrible eating disorder. But let’s face it, we’re land animals and swimming is only interesting every four years.

If swimming were an every year thing, 2007’s Athlete of the Year would have been someone named Martin Strel. That guy swam the entire 3274 miles of the piraña infested Amazon River.

Let’s see Mr. Jug ears do that, and then he might warrant serious consideration.

Nope – to make this list you have to have done something truly special in a sport we give a hoot about every year.

No. 10 – Roger Clemens is a big fat liar

It takes a truly special kind of egomaniac to be a professional athlete. Pampered since puberty, many believe that nothing they do is wrong because they’ve always had someone with a vested interest to help clean up their messes. So when Roger Clemens spoke in front of Congress trying to clear his name after being accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs, he thought he could throw a high hard one past the politicians. Instead, his reputation was taken deep… back, back, back and gone!

No. 9 – The Black Guy Wins

Formula 1 racing had a tough year – off the track. First, there was Max Mosley, the head of governing body FIA, who caught was on video by a British tabloid involved in a sadomasochistic sex romp with five prostitutes dressed up as Nazis – and he didn’t even lose his job for that. Next was the world’s financial crash that threatened the series very existence. Then there were a series of racist taunts directed at F1’s newest star, Lewis Hamilton. However, in the end, and I do mean the very end, it was Hamilton who saved the day. He became the sport’s youngest and first black overall champion by making a pass at the final corner of the last lap at the season-ending Brazilian Grand Prix to take the title.

No. 8 – Annika Quits

How many times does the class of the field retire  – to take up cooking? That’s what the 38-year old Annika Sorenstam did last week when she ended here remarkable LPGA career after winning 72 tournaments, ten majors and $22-million in career earnings. Now, as she plans to become a world-class chef, the women’s tour main storyline is there trying to force the South Korean players to learn English. Riveting.

No. 7 – Big Blown

What happens when the most obnoxious poster boy for a sport gone wrong manages to get in the spotlight for a month? Thankfully in Rick Dutrow’s case, he crashes and burns. The trainer for Big Brown had won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness and was cocky enough to guarantee a win in the Belmont Stakes, securing for his “super-horse” the first Triple Crown in 30 years. Instead, Big Brown finished last because it was inexplicably “tired.” What it really was, was for the first time in his career, he was off drugs. Dutrow wanted to show it was his training that made Big Brown great. All he showed was that the sport of horse racing is broken, and needs to be fixed by, first and foremost, getting rid of the likes of the Rick Dutrows in the game.

No. 6 – Phillies a winner?

Perennial losers like the Philadelphia Phillies deserve a break once in a while. In 2008 they didn’t get it. Due to a series of beyond-their-control snafus, which included MLB making a colossal rules boo-boo, the 2008 World Series champs were crowned before the smallest TV audience in the sport’s history. Which, when you think about it, is only fitting.

No. 5 – NASCAR is still on the Air

From its zenith just a few years back, to where it is now, and that’s quickly falling into the “is that still on?” category, America’s signature racing series is weirdly not enjoying having a superstar dominate. In pretty much every other sport, having a signature face overshadow the competition is a good thing. Not in NASCAR as Jimmy Johnson won his 3^rd consecutive championship it was greeted with resounding yawns across the country.

No. 4 – The Greatest Tennis Match Ever Played

Roger Federer hadn’t lost there in five years. Raphael Nadal had never won on grass. It took almost five hours to decide the winner of Wimbledon with Nadal eventually prevailing 6-4, 6-4, 6-7, 6-7, 9-7. How good was it? English tennis fans caused a massive 1,400 megawatt electricity spike at 9.20pm local time as Nadal was lifting the trophy. A national electrical grid spokesperson attributed the surge to fans being so transfixed by the tennis, they could not move from the sofa to switch the lights on until the end.

No. 3 – Why GM’s Matter

It had long been my personal theory that the easiest job in sports was being a General Manager. Seriously, how tough could it be? Sitting around all day, looking at players playing, talking sports with other guys trying to make deals. After all, that’s what I do and I rarely break a sweat. Nevertheless, the Boston Celtics proved that theory wrong. Good GM’s do make a difference and great ones make champions. The Celtics GM Danny Ainge added Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen making Paul Pierce into the dominating player he always should have been. The underdogs going into the finals against the Lakers, they took them out in six games, destroying them in the last one by 39 points. Pierce got the MVP trophy. He should have handed it to Ainge.

No. 2 – On One Leg

He has won four Masters titles, the first one by 12 strokes. He has won three United States Opens, the first by 15 strokes. He has won three British Opens, the first by eight strokes. He has won four P.G.A. Championships, one of them by five strokes. Yet the 2008 U.S. Open, where he struggled to win by one stoke in 91 holes over an unlikely journeyman opponent named “Rocco,” Tiger Woods described as “probably the greatest tournament I’ve ever had.” Learning a few days later that he was playing on a broken leg, it is hard to argue.

…and finally

No. 1 – The Greatest Super Bowl Ever Played

Giants 17, Patriots 14. Not an especially special score, but how they got there, and with the back-story going in? It’s still almost unreal. New England was perfect. The Giants were far from it. What was supposed to be a coronation of the “Greatest Team Ever” turned out to be a tight defensive struggle in the first half, a brilliant third quarter and a forth that featured two of the greatest drives ever, the first by Tom Brady, who was supposed to do it. And the second by Eli Manning, who wasn’t. Highlighted by David Tyree’s (who?) “catch,” which is the greatest single play in Super Bowl history, the Giants winning drive stunned the Patriots and the rest of us along the way. Perfect season gone, replaced by a perfect way to end a season.

Overall, there is a very good argument to make that 2008 was perhaps the greatest year in sports ever. There were surprisingly few truly awful stories – and a stunning number of great ones. 2009 is shaping up to be just the opposite, however.

How much you want to bet the economy is going to be No.1 next year?

Cheers – and here’s hoping you have a very Merry Christmas

Gavin McDougald – AKA Couch