If you haven’t been following the antics of Glenn Beck these days, here’s the CliffsNotes version: America, as you know it, is about to come to an end.

The apocalypse is upon us and the government, the financial system and the military are about to fall. There will be food riots, starvation, anarchy and pestilence because that’s what the liberals, (who are all really just heathen communists), want to happen!

Why?

Because the collapse of capitalism will allow them to institute one world government presided over by an 80-year-old Hungarian holocaust surviving hedge fund billionaire named George Soros, that’s why!

It’s all so obvious really.

So – in preparation for that, he’s been begging his viewers for months to liquidate their assets and buy gold, (it’s mere coincidence that one of the only sponsors he has left is Goldline), stockpile food, buy guns and get god – not necessarily in that order.

It’s a fashionable thing to do these days, predicting the end of the world type catastrophes, although granted, usually, the wackjobs who do so aren’t given a prime time slot on national cable.

The world of sports is not immune either. Those in the know have been telling athletes in two of the four major North American sports to prepare for what is the equivalent of the “day of reckoning” for them, a lockout.

The NBA and its player’s union are both preparing for a work stoppage at the conclusion of this season when their collective bargaining agreement expires and so the players are being advised to go on an austerity kick.

The last time this happened was in 1999 and it lasted six months. In that case, the league sprang the work stoppage un-announced and as a result, many players were left, incredibly, with no money in the bank. Living from paycheck to paycheck is not just a middle-class thing, apparently, it’s an every class thing, and the NBA players were top of the pops at it. Boats, multiple houses, (I would have written “Cribs” but I would have thrown up a little bit in my mouth), fleets of cars, oodles of jewellery and a cast of hangers-on meant their monthly burn rate was at or greatly exceeded the cash coming in.

So when the money dried up, a ton of guys, despite living in 20,000 sq ft mansions with garages full of Ferraris, became instantly broke, and were forced to auction off their stuff just to cover the deficit.

This time, that’s not going to happen, at least not as often. For over two years players have been receiving financial advice from the union on how to prepare for what is seen as the inevitable cash shortage.

What Wall Street Journal documented cases like Brandon Jennings of the Milwaukee Bucks, who earned about $2.2 million last year in his first NBA season, who is now the proud owner of a Ford Edge, which cost $26,000.

Brandan Wright of the Golden State Warriors, who was a first-round draft pick and will have earned $11 million before his 24th birthday, owns one BMW and a home in Nashville, Tenn., not for him, but for his immediate family. Relying on his financial advisors, he instituted a strict monthly spending budget saying, “Cheap is the best way to be.”

Ever imagine a day when the words “NBA players” and “fiscally responsible” could appear in the same sentence?

The same thing goes for the NFL. At the start of the season, the players famously demonstrated their solidarity, walking onto the field with their fingers held high signifying they were “one.” Now they are taking seminars on how to survive an extended work stoppage that could see them lose a year or more of playing time and with no subsidized health care.

Both of these lockouts could go on for a long time as the difference between the unions and owners this time isn’t in the hundreds of millions, instead, it’s in the billions.

They could be out for a lot longer than anyone can imagine.

And that leads to another disaster.

What about us, as in the sports fans?

What do we do to prepare for a world without the NFL and the NBA this time next year?

Time to get prepared.

Time to embrace the horror.

We’re all hockey fans now.

Cheers – Gavin McDougald – AKA Couch