There is no team in sports today more universally reviled than the Miami Heat. The Yankees, the Lakers and Dallas Cowboys combined look like pikers compared to these slacker millionaires.

Hailed by many as unbeatable before the first tipoff, now their 10-8 record has most NBA fans laughing out loud. Losers of four out of their last six and only one victory against a plus-.500 team all season long, they are remarkable in one way and one way only:

They are average.

What was hyped to be the greatest assemblage of basketball talent since Barcelona, what we’ve got is the trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh snoozing it up most of the time. Between the three of them they should be accounting for 75 points a game between them alone, instead, they aren’t close to that and their team’s 100.4 points per game puts them right around Toronto Raptor range.

LeBron is the only one in the Top ten in scoring in the league, and he’s tenth. Bosh is trailing his old Toronto teammate Andrea Bargnani by 16 spots, and Andrea isn’t in the Top 20. Wade is somewhere in-between. They are tanking it up from the field with their collective shot percentage in the cellar; so, boringly, about half of their points are coming from the line.

Creativity? LeBron and Wade were supposed to be zipping the ball all over the place allowing for exciting Bosh to dominate inside and open the court up for spectacular open lane stuff. Instead, they are 23^rd in the league in assists overall – again behind the Toronto Raptors.

In other words, statistically, they are just another team.

But the numbers don’t tell the story.

Watching them does, and boy, “Showtime” they ain’t!

There’s LeBron at the top of the key, dribbling. And dribbling. And dribbling some more. Wade stands at the side with his hands out and a “give me the freakin’ ball” expression on his face, and Bosh is down low, standing around.

Possession after possession after possession sees them winding down the shot clock and settling for a mid-range jumper that almost invariably goes in and out. Three games ago the Heat had three airballs in a row, something I’d never seen before in the NBA. Hell, I’d never seen it in high school and my team sucked.

How is all this possible?

The pre-season hype was simply omnipresent. James was going to tie Oscar Robertson’s record for averaging a triple-double over the season. Wade was going to be fighting for the top spot in scoring in the league (against his own 2-guard) and Bosh was going to rock in mop-up duty down low, putting in everything that wasn’t available to his frontcourt.

It was supposed to be the game redefined. We were talking 82 and oh my!

Instead, we’ve got what?

On Saturday we got this. Did LeBron James shoulder bump his head coach, Erik Spoelstra, in a blatant show of disrespect? It’s come to this folks. In Miami, an alleged “shoulder bump” is front page news.

Such is the state of the vaunted Heat.

Leaks are showing up in the media. Disgruntled players unhappy with the offence and the coach pissed off at the players. Is Spoelstra up to the task? Unless he changes his name to Phil Jackson in a hurry, he’ll be toast any minute.

LeBron let is slip in the press through a lackey that he’s “unhappy.” On Tuesday Wade let slip that Spoelstra “isn’t my guy, but he is my coach.” Typically Bosh isn’t saying anything, but one thing is clear, there will be a coaching change.

Then what? Will Pat Riley come on down from Gucci Row and trod the boards as he once did for another triplet of egomaniacs named Magic Johnson, James Worthy and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

Who knows, and if goes on much longer, who cares?

Regardless of what happens, it’s clear that the pairing of Dwayne Wade and LeBron James is one not made in heaven. Of course, they have time to figure it out – it’s still very early – but what we’re seeing isn’t what we were supposed to see.

Thursday marks the first return to Cleveland for James after “The Decision.”

When the schedule was released, the going theory was it was going to be a frenzy. Now it’s just a case of a No 12 team facing a No 18 team.

LeBron meh.

 

Cheers – Gavin McDougald – AKA Couch