According to the renowned scientist, Dr. Evil, a person’s “Mojo” is “The libido. The life force. The essence. The right stuff. What the French call a certain… I don’t know what.” Basically what it’s like is, it’s like pornography. Hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. Since Tiger Woods was born it was apparent to everyone he was positively dripping in Mojo. He had oodles and oodles of it. Yet now, after a whack with a…
If you were a betting man, how much would you put on Brett Favre staying retired? Exactly. So that’s why his announcement that he wouldn’t be returning for a 20th season on Tuesday was met with a collective “meh”, except in ESPN’s head-office where there was a collective Favre-gasm. “Spark up the camera’s boys – time to go live to Vikingland 24/7!” The guy who just doesn’t know how to quit quit yet again texting his now ex-teammates, “This is…
It was actually over about ten days ago when Lance Armstrong fell negotiating a roundabout at 55kmh just before a killer climb. But officially it ended Sunday on the Champs Elyse in Paris, when he crossed the finish line in the Tour de France for the final time in an unfamiliar position – 23rd overall. “Inglorious” is not a word that has ever been associated with Armstrong, one of the most amazing and inspirational athletes in history, yet sadly just…
That’s the message every professional athlete should get pounded into them again and again and again. They wake up – their alarm clock should chime: “DON’T BE A DICK!” They roll over to kiss the wife or girlfriend or whatever, and they’ll hear, “Morning honey. Remember, don’t be a dick today.” When one of their umpteen kids runs into the bedroom and jumps up on the bed they should always say, “Are you awake Daddy? And oh ya, don’t be…
Whacking a round ball with a club travelling 125 mph should never lead to perfect results. But ten years ago, over the course of four days, it pretty much did. It was the last time Tiger Woods appeared at a U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, and it was the greatest anyone has played the game, ever. He won by 15-strokes. He finished 12-under on the same course the rest of the best players in the game couldn’t even break par….
This Friday, to consider yourself a worthy dweller of the planet earth, you are supposed to participate in the month-long nuts-a-thon that is the World Cup of Soccer. It’s just what we do. It doesn’t matter that, for the past 47 months since the last one, you haven’t given two hoots or a hangnail about the “Beautiful Game”, it’s the spectacle that’s the thing! Last time around, it was the “spectacle” of those 79 people dying in WC related violence…
I worked with this guy earlier this year and he was, without a doubt, the most boring fellow I have ever had the displeasure to meet in my entire life. Humorless, listless and seemingly perma-beige, he was so singularly soporific; I had to pre-load a double espresso prior to our every encounter to avoid a rapid onset of coma followed by drool. So when he let it slip that he was on Twitter, naturally I couldn’t resist seeing what it…
A guy like me should never have 16 teams left in the Sweet Sixteen. In fact, nobody should. Hell, Barack Obama is kind of a busy guy and even he managed to get 14 right. A word that can never be associated with something branded as “madness” is “predictability,” yet here we are. There was precisely one “upset” in the second round of this year’s NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament. One. Perdue beat Washington, but it wasn’t that much of an…
If you are your average NCAA basketball fanatic, you’ve been spending the last few months boning up on all things statistical and informational getting ready for this very week. You are in full bracket mode. You know who the 6th man is on North Dakota State and who is the starting point guard for Morgan. You’ve spent sleepless nights wondering if North Carolina is the team to beat – and if Syracuse is really for real. You’re in a knot…
Thanks, Super Bowl – now February gets to piss us off even more than usual. The month that lingers on like a BBQ stain on a white T has just become even more onerous because all we have is a great game (the greatest game?) to look back upon – and little to look forward to. Sure it’s the shortest, but just consider the brutal withdrawal symptoms we will all soon be suffering through due to the lack of a…